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Last month, after much begging on my Mother’s part, I began cleaning out my old childhood bedroom.  Amongst my things, I found an old collection of bizarre fortune cookie fortunes that I had long forgotten about.  Some are odd and shockingly bold predictions about my future.  Others I have to guess are Chinese proverbs which really got lost in the translation.  The rest really defy categorization.  Some highlights:

• A job offer requires serious consideration.
• You will move to a wonderful new home within the year.
• These both would’ve been amazing about a year ago instead of when i was 14.  Very few fortune cookies actually tie themselves to a deadline, either.
• You long to see the great pyramids in Egypt.
• How much did the Cairo Chamber of Commerce pay for this one?
• You are a guiding star of his existence.
• I have no clue who “he” might be.  It’s not capitalized, so I don’t think they’re talking about any omnipotent beings.  What’s scarier is that I have two copies of this fortune, in two different colors and fonts.
• You sing as sweetly as an angel.
• Lucifer was an angel….
• When the mouse look [sic] down upon the cat, there must be an escape route nearby.
• A person of words and not of deeds is like a garden full of weeds.
• You will soon meet the person you admire.
• Apparently there’s only one.
• Say hello to others. You will have a happier day.
• Rest is a good thing, but boredom is its brother.
• Sleepwalking may not mean anything.
• Who needs health insurance?  Just eat some Lo Mein and you’ll get all the fancy medical advice you need.
• Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.
• So don’t bother getting that mysterious mole checked out.  Dr. Fortune Cookie saves the day again!
• How you look depends on where you go.
• Alas! The onion you are eating is someone else’s water lily.
• Now is a good time to buy stock.
• From the cafeteria at Enron headquarters. 
• You would make a good lawyer.
• You are independent politically.
• Yup.  I’m as fair and balanced as a certain “news” network I could name…
• Strong and bitter words indicate a weak cause.
• Oh.  Like “You’re either with us, or you’re with Al Queda?” (See above)
• Negotiations move along smoothly, the outcome is favorable!
• You could prosper in the field of medical research.
• The cookie didn’t specify if it means as a scientist or guinea pig.
• Love is like sweet medicine, good to the last drop.
• So many filthy places I could go with this one.
• Consult your mate for advice.
• Some men dream of fortunes, others dream of cookies.
• This is really a lovely day.  Congratulations!
• Criticize but do not abandon your delinquent friends.
• I do, wise cookie!  But they tend to take offense at being called “delinquent”
• Very often you cannot help thinking of somebody.
• You will step on the soil of many countries.
• A real estate deal will be successful.
• The world is a grand comedy to your sense of humor.

I just saw on CNN.com that Philadelphia is now officially out of the running for the 2016 olympics.  This doesn’t really upset me.  I don’t have much desire to have the Olympics in my city (or at least the city I live pretty close to).  I think the Olympics are better reserved for smaller cities that need the attention and publicity.  I thought it was pretty ridiculous that the final cities in the running for 2012 were New York, London, Paris and Moscow. 

What really caught my attention about the article was that it hit on a pet peeve of mine, the “hasn’t since exaggeration” (yes, I just made that term up). The article includes the sentence, “The U.S. has not hosted the Summer Games since the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta, Georgia.”  Last time I checked, the Summer Olympics are only held every 4 years.  Which means this sentence really should read “The U.S. just hosted the Summer Games in 1996.”  You see this a lot if you start looking for it, especially in sports.  “The Yankees havn’t won a World Series since 2000″ was already getting said in 2003!  There are 30 baseball teams!  Or in the NCAA tournament when they’ll say things like “This is the first time that 3 11-seeded teams have made it to the Sweet 16 since 2001″  Look, if it’s happened in the last 10 years, it’s not rare enough to warrant being mentioned, and you just sound foolish pointing out how long it’s been since it happened.  And if it’s truly a rare occurance and it happened within the last 10 years, then what you mean to say is “Holy Crap! This is the second time that 3 11-seeded teams have made it to the Sweet 16 since 2001″

I figure that a good way to start things off would be to list the sites that I check pretty much every day, in no particular order:

• Reddit: People submit interesting links from around the web which get voted up or down by the people who visit them.
• Digg: Very similar to Reddit, but focusing on technology.
• Woot: Every day at 1 AM EST they put one item up for sale, usually at a nice discount.  When it sells out (sometimes in seconds), it’s gone, and nothing’s for sale until 1 AM the next day.  Look for their “Bag Of Crap” every few months, $1 for random crap in a bag.  Can’t beat it!
• The Daily WTF: This one you pretty much have to work in software to appreciate.  Every time I read this site, I feel like the smartest man alive.
• Anticlown Media’s Sites:
• The Superficial: Sarcastic Celebrity News
• I Watch Stuff: Sarcastic Movie/Television News
• Geekologie: Sarcastic Technology News
• Hedonistica: Um.  Videos and stuff. With Sarcastic Captions.
• The Onion: The best satire that’s not aired between 11 and 12 on Comedy Central.
• Schwarz Studios: My brother’s artwork.  OK, I don’t exactly visit it daily.  But come on.  Those are some nice paintings.  I don’t even know how we’re from the same family.

Welcome my friend or family member.  You can watch this site from now on to keep up with the nonstop excitement that is my life.  I’ll post here from time to time when something notable happens, I have something important to say or, far more frequently, I see something interesting or funny that someone else has said or done.